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After-Turkey Day Sale of Insanity Part 1
2005-11-27, 1:32 p.m.

It's early Sunday morning, I haven't been to sleep yet, and I have to wake up in 4 hours. I've been busy all night and can't seem to slow my brain down so I can get some rest. I laid in bed for about 30 minutes but I couldn't stop thinking. I figure if I just write it all down, it'll stop rolling around in my head.
I've been cleaning my room all day (Sat.), and just stopped at 1 a.m. I'm still not finished, but I'm close. At this point, you can see the carpet and walk around the room. For those of you laughing at that comment - it wasn't a joke. My room was seriously messed up. I'm trying to get it ready so I can paint it over the Christmas holidays. I'm excited because I bought new bedclothes and I designed some curtains to hang. I've been waiting to put it all out until I paint. It's about time for a change. My room was pink - everywhere. I liked it but it's been pink for about 11 years now. There's a wicker & bamboo chest of drawers I'm going to get after I paint, too. I'm decorating in an Asian motif. When I went to China this past summer, I picked up odds and ends to decorate with. I also found this knockoff (though I think it looks quite nice) Oriental vase that's about 2 ft. tall in some junk that people were going to throw out after their yardsale. That was a long sentence; I think I broke grammatical rules somewhere in that one. But anyways, their loss is my gain.
I'm sorting my Barbie collection and planning to cut out some of them. I'll probably sell them on Amazon or Ebay. I'm not sure which yet. Oh, and speaking of things I got in China (which I was speaking about at some point), I still haven't delivered my gifts to people. Meg & Ngim (among others), I wish to say now that I'm sooooo sorry (again). I will deliver them, just you wait and see ('enry Higgins!)
AND speaking of Meg & Ngim, I went out with them Friday night. "Black Friday" was indeed blogworthy if any day ever was. I was just so tired I couldn't do it then (although I desperately wanted to). Below is a tale to rattle your nerves, chill your spine, and put hair on your chest. Beware! (Don't say I didn't warn you!)
I give you...

The 2005 After-Turkey Day Sale of Insanity
THe After Turkey Day Sale of Insanity, or ATDSI, is a tradition for my friend Meredith & I. Every year since I could drive (6 YEARS NOW!), we prepare ourselves for ATDSI with great care. We endure hours of training. We find the advertisements, circle the sales, order them according to store proximity and item priority. All this we do before promptly leaving them at home. It never fails. This year was no different. Normally, Mere spends the night with me the evening before ATDSI so we can get the earliest start possible. The eliminates travel time to each other's house; its a good thing we do this becase at least one of us always oversleeps. We've never arrived as early as we'd planned because we stay up too late the night before. This year, however, was a slight variation on this theme.
I spent the night at Mere's in her & G's "Loser Room." This is the video game/guest room (a.k.a. George's Sanctuary). It featured a lovely air mattress (which I loved and which was suprisingly comfy!). I got to their house and talked for a while as we waited for Brad Paisley to call. Seriously. When he called at about 9:50 or so, he told Mere she'd better "go to bed, little darlin'. You've got a big day ahead of you!" Truer words have never been spoken, Brad. Before you get any ideas about the close friendship we share with Mr. Paisley, I must say this was our "go to sleep" reminder call arranged by Target. Ah, the things retailers will do to get your business. We went to bed at 10 p.m. while eagerly awaiting our wake up call from Kermit the Frog at 4 a.m. However, we decided to get up a little earlier.
Mere got up at 3 and showered. I showered after her. Kermit called at 4 to tell us to wake up. After all, if we missed those great sales, we'd be "green with envy at all those other shoppers who did get up and go," and after all, "it isn't easy being green." Thank you Kermit for your words of encouragement as we went out the door. We were on time!
This was not to last. It took us a little over an hour to get to Best Buy (for reasons I'll not bore you with). When we got there, a line had already formed (of course). They had let a set number of people in the store and then let in 10 or so people in at a time subsequently. It was a madhouse. Mere was trying to get a computer for her father-in-law for only $150. We missed getting it by a moment, but it may as well have been a mile. However, Mere found some other stuff, so we did need to checkout there. The line was wrapped around the CD section and then up & down two more aisles. And it was growing. By the time we got out of there, we had 10 minutes to wait until Old Navy opened next door. So we stood in line, AGAIN. Mere found quite a few gifts. It wasn't as crazy here as it was elsewhere, but it wasn't exactly easy to navigate the store either. I found 3 pair fo flip flops for 47 cents each though (reg. $3.50). That was exciting. For those of you who live in areas where fall and winter call for more than a light jacket or long sleeved shirt, let me explain. Where I live, flip flops are a year round accessory. There are no White Christmases for us. ::sniff::
Anyway, after Old Navy, it was a blur of small shops at the outlet before we stopped at Sonic to get breakfast. It was a good thing too because my stomach was ingesting itself. I was so hungry! A breakfast burrito took care of that.
It was now time for the 1st 2 stores in TEH TERRIBLE TRIUMVIRATE!!! Yes, it was time for Target & Wal-Mart. Our quest? Moon shoes. Our search for the elusive moon shoes here was in vain; we moved on. We drove to the next mall and stopped at Suncoast to get Mere's lil bro a gift.
While there, Mere got me my b'day gift (which she refrained from laughing at - I thank you Mere). What's I get? FRUITS BASKET VOL. 1 that's what!!! I've wanted to read this series for a while, but couldnt' bring myself to go in a store and buy it. I'm such a paranoid coward. I mean, c'mon! Manga? Do you know who would laugh at me? Everyone! Meg, Mere, & Ngim - stop the laughing! You too, Nate! And that goes for everyone else! Ok, I'm better now.
I really enjoyed FBV1, too. I'm going to get Vol. 2 & 3 next week. Mere also bought me this uber cool sweater hoodie from Lane Bryant for Christmas! She gave it to me early too! Thank you Mere!
Back to the ATDSI tale! After Suncoast, we stopped by Hot Topic for Mere's niece & nephew's gifts. Then we stopped forlunch. We went through the Wendy's drive-thru and continued on to the final store in TEH TERRIBLE TRIUMVIRATE!!! What could be as bad as Wal-Mart on this blackest of Fridays? 2, er 3, words: TOYS 'R US...
There are 2 words that come to mind at this moment - Heart Attack. You thought you were going to have one. It was like a rave without glowsticks and drugs. (Note: the author does not approve of the illegal use of drugs 'cept for Nyquil cuz it saves the sinuses!) The thing is, you kept wishing you had the drugs in order to escape the sea of people. Glowsticks would have been a nice touch.
AND DID I MENTION THE CHILDREN?!?!?
Ok, if you're going to attend ATDSI, parents, PLEASE leave your adorable spawns of Satan at HOME!!! Normally, I love kids. I was a children's minister for 3 years. Really. However, at the "Sale of Satan," as now call it, bringing your kids is not appropriate. Hey, you don't want them to see what you're getting them anyway, right? They apparently do not have any idea how to walk without dancing; I understand, I myself have been victim to this malady. It's the whole "I'm moving to the right while you do, but then I'll twirl to the left and back to the right and then spin..." routine that gets me. You know the kid is laughing at you and your helplessness. You can't move down the aisle. You're only recourse is to (A) stop in your tracks or (B) run over the kid. And do you really want to have to explain the body? Right. Of course, the kid's parents are no where to be seen. They're probably in search of moon shoes, too.
Mere & I looked around for them before I finally asked an employee. I feel so bad for everyone who works retail during the holidays. I'm so sorry! Anyway, I ask, "Do you know where the Moon Boots are?" She gives me this weird look and says, "Oh! You mean Moon SHOES?" and tells me where they are. We rejoice. I'm elated because we found a pair for Mere's nephew. However, I thought we were looking for Moon BOOTS, which would be way cooler than any $30 pair of trampoline shoes that the kid will play with twice before dumping them. Ack. This is where I talk about the good 'ol days when we played with cardboard boxes in the snow and were thankful we had a box, but we'll skip that part for now.
In fact, I'm going to go to bed now. Stay tuned because tomorrow I'll give you ATDSI PART 2: No Sanity in Sight! I promise a mariachi band! REALLY!!!

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Fun for the Ears: Colors - Amos Lee
Indulgence for the Imagination: Fruits Basket Volume 1 - Natsuki Takaya
Amusement for All:

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After-Turkey Day Sale of Insanity Part Deux
After-Turkey Day Sale of Insanity Part 1
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