Get Up!
2005-11-04, 3:14 p.m.
I'm at home right now. Sick. It's great. I am just a little sarcastic right now (in case you couldn't tell).
Just so you know that last entry was just a little creative writing exercise. Ooooh, I assigned myself homework! I'm such a nerd. And not a cool nerd either. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones that make horn-rimmed glasses hot. Yep. You do know who I'm talking about.
Anyway, I used to want to write for a living. I kind of got away from that though in the past 3 or 4 years. Lately, I've tried to get back to where I was. Well, maybe not where I was in life then (that was called noob college student - green as grass), but at least to how I felt then. I liked myself. I was excited. I wanted to live life to its fullest. Ok, time to break out the nachos, 'cuz I'm getting cheesy.
Seriously though. I'm tired of life and I'm only 22. Theoretically, I've got another 60 years or so to get through. I sure don't want to spend all that time like I have the past few years. I've been on one depressing trip to nowheresville. I tried living my life like I thought everyone wanted me to, and all that did was cause me to feel like I was losing my sanity.
Now, I'm just trying to get some balance. I don't want to go to the other extreme and be all self-absorbed (ooo - and maybe angsty - I can hope). However, I don't want to live my life based on what I think someone else thinks is right for me. That's the problem with me. I do things because I think that's what other people want - whether they do or not. If I lost you with all that blathering, don't be sad. I'm not sure I understand what I'm talking about. I'm just ready to do something - anything really. I'm tired of sitting still and watching everyone else move on. That's what I've been doing. I want to write again like I used to. It used to be something I woke up in the morning to do and stayed up late at night to do some more. I want to get out of the house and do things with people - not coop myself up in my room. I want to get out and ride my bike again - not just sit on the couch and watch every Law & Order series ever written (as good as they are). I guess I ought to stop writing about it and do it then, huh? Maybe I will.
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Fun for the Ears: Better Days - Robbie Seay Band
Indulgence for the Imagination: The Welkening - Gregory Spencer
Amusement for All: Maybe a big bowl of vanilla bean ice cream would make the world better...
